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 Miraion Kiritsukeru - Vizard

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PostSubject: Miraion Kiritsukeru - Vizard   Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:18 am

Basic Information

Name: Miraion Kiritsukeru

Actual Age: 297

Appeared Age: 23

Gender: Male

Appearance:
Spoiler:
 


Personal Information

Likes/Dislikes:
Likes:
-Staying to himself
-Killing Hollows
-being in high places
Dislikes:
-Dealing with people
-Talking to people
-Staying in one place at a time

Strength/Weaknesses:
Strengths:
-High speed
-Intelligent
-Phisically fit
Weaknesses:
-Cold Hearted
-Poor planner
-Quick to kill before talking

Personality:
Miraion is a normally calm man. He tries to not bother getting close to people and keeps to his own. No matter what he has never allowed himself to have a single friend. He mostly ignores people and when it is time to fight he will stop at nothing to destroy his enemy, even if it meant killing his own comrad.
Sexual Orientation: Straight

Relationship Status: Single and not caring to find anyone.

Mask Information

Name: Tekkoudan

Manifestation:
Spoiler:
 

Unique Ability:
- Shield of Ultimate Death: Forms a shield out of pure reishi which then can become absorbed into the Bankai for a special “beam” like attack which can actually desolve Reishi. If the shield is damaged before being fully absorbed then the beam will greatly become unstable and may cause damage to Miraion.

Hollow Mask Appearance:
Spoiler:
 

Duration:
It takes Miraion 7 posts before his masks shatters and 9 posts before he may reform it.


Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Shukuchoku

Zanpakuto Looks:
Spoiler:
 

Hollow form appearance:
Spoiler:
 

Bankai Description:
-When in Bankai Miraion can absorb Reishi and form either bursts of energy in his gun as ammo or form an energy blade on his sword.
-Miraion is able to uses absorbed Reishi in strong bursts to increase his speed.

Bankai Release Phrase: Bring threw the night with the stars! Shukuchoku!!

Bankai Looks:
Spoiler:
 


History and RP sample

History:
As a human Miraion was a very childish and energetic person. He grew up in a rich family and was always very irresponsible. When he finally inherited his family’s money which he quickly lost it in debt. After this, he spent the rest of his life wondering the streets as a homeless man. After catching variouse diseases at age 47, he finally died.

After dying Miraion continued to wonder around aimlessly. His time as a spirit was short lived though as he trailed right into a patroling female Shinigami, who told him that he HAD to move on to the “Soul Society.” Being a stubbern childish man, Miraion denied this and ran away. Months later he ran into the same Shinigami and then was forced to move on. When Miraion came to the soul society he quickly learned he needed to become a better person as he was completely shunned in his "new life."

In the Rugonkai district Miraion learned how to become more serious person and how to work hard and act more like an adult. After this Miraion worked hard to become strong. After ten years of physical and mental training Miraion decided to become a Shinigami as a way of thanking the person who originally brought him to the Soul Society there in the first place.

Miraion worked hard and in ten years Miraion was assigned to the twelfth division. After spending many years in the Gotei thirteen, Miraion began to learn of the existance of possible ways to mix the powers of a hollow and that of a shinigami. After looking into this, Miraion decided in the pursuit of power, to try and become “part Hollow.” After going threw with this choice it became very apparent that this change was drawing him to insanity. Just before he was about to snap. The same person who had helped him in the past had, some how figured out what was happening and helped him in his trouble. After a year of training his mind Miraion then finally asked how she knew what was happening. When she responded she said that she was also “part hollow” or rather; she was a Vizard but hid it from every one. Miraion and the woman fell in love and married. But when word got out about them the Gotei thirteen, hunted them down and in the process they killed woman, forcing Miraion to go on with his life alone.

RP Sample:
Miraion yawned as he walked down the empty street. He was tired from walking nearly all day. He saw a Hollow which was chasing a little dead girl. Miraion sighed and then casually walked over and then in a flash, he drew his sword and jumped up and as he came down he stabbed his Zanpakto into the back of the Hollow’s head. He then, after killing the beast continued walking off. When the girl tried to follow him he pulled his sword and put the tip infront of her face. “If you dare try to follow me I will kill you once more.” He said as he shiethed his blade and continued walking.
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Malicia Nephilim

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PostSubject: Re: Miraion Kiritsukeru - Vizard   Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:30 pm

Basic Informations >
- Your weaknesses 1 and 3 are genuine personality traits, not actual weaknesses.

Mask information >
- This app does not have the level to be granted a Full Hollow Form.

Zan >
- You skipped Shikai fields entirely as well as some bankai fields

- You must explain how you can absorb spiritual energy/spirit particle as even Quincys who are masters at it need to soften their opponent's with the Seele Shreider before stealing theirs or absorbing their attacks, even so their absorption is slow and can't just "eat" an attack.

History >
- Incoherency with the age, you say your character dies at 47 but when he encounter the Shinigami you depict him as "being a stubborn child". Also, your appearance does not look like a 47 years old at all (age appearance as a soul remains fairly similar to age of death)

- Hollowification is a very taboo secret of Soul Society, you must explain in details how you came across such a guarded secret.

- You must also give an explanation for acquiring bankai as none of your releases' discoveries are explained in your history and you don't seem to have spent that much time as a Shinigami
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PostSubject: Re: Miraion Kiritsukeru - Vizard   Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:36 pm

Um... Excuse me.. If I may interject.. On the template for a vizard, there are absolutely NO slots stating that one needs to explain Shikai and Bankai. There mere fact at which, he had stated bankai, merely shows he attempted to understand Bleach when he is not a regular watcher nor does he truly know the background of bleach entirely. You must take that into consideration when making a template.

But that is merely my opinion on the matter.
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Malicia Nephilim

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PostSubject: Re: Miraion Kiritsukeru - Vizard   Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:45 pm

Firstly this is not my template. Secondly, it has been stated tat Bankai can take up to several hundred years to achieve and was one of the factors that heavily influenced Captain nomination. It is my full right to want know how a character that has never even been stated to have an officer seat has bankai when most lieutenant(vice-captain) characters in canon don't. It is necessary to keep a minimum of coherency if you have further issues with how I deal with things feel free to address them in PM
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